I seriously thought this would be a lot easier than it really has become. I seem to have hit a wall.
You may be following this 30 Day Challenge because of this post - Realigning My Joy through My Subconscious.
I had two messages to myself that I had to repeat every morning when I woke up and when I went to bed.
They were: (excerpt from original post)
The bed-time message to my subconscious is:
“I will let go of any worries and relax every muscle before and during my sleep.”
The reason I picked this is because I’ve been holding on to my stress as I’m settling down for bed. It causes me to have trouble falling asleep and waking up with a stiff neck, jaw, and/or back.
My morning message to my subconscious which I will tape to my mirror is:
“Every interaction has some joy in it. It’s up to me to find the joy and possibly expand on these feelings.”
I picked this message because I catch myself, very often, wanting the experience I am presently in to be different instead of accepting it for everything it is.
I’ve been posting my updates on Work Happy Now’s Facebook page and my Twitter account. I've wanted to post more regular on my Google+ account, but this hasn't become a habit for me yet.
I’m doing this because I felt like I wasn’t in control while I slept. Now I feel like the more control I try to grasp the farther this exercise gets away from me.
Crash
At first I felt like I was floating on big fluffy clouds after Day 7 from just a simple mantra each morning and afternoon. It seemed too good to be true.
I guess it was.
Reality has crashed on top of me.
I seem to have lost with how to proceed.
I feel like I’ve gone backwards. I’m trying too hard instead of just watching and learning as I do this exercise.
I woke up this morning with a stiff neck. This 30 day challenge was supposed to improve how I dealt with my stress not make it worse.
Next
Do I recite these above phrases more?
Do I give up?
I felt so wonderfully alive for the first 7 days.
Just because I hit a little wall it doesn’t mean it’s over.
Right?
Maybe this is just a new way for me to become stronger.
I see old patterns bubbling back up. I make a little progress, I set the bar higher, can't reach the new level and I get frustrated. Do you do this as well?
Sorry I don’t have more answers and aha moments for you. Hopefully next time. I'm trying to be as forthcoming with this challenge as I can be, while also finding teachables.
Have you been playing along? Are you doing your own 30 day challenge? Let us know in the comment section.
Don't give up! Keep going “One day at a time” maybe "One minute at a time" Post those messages, bring those messages with you – repeat them - to remind you of what you want your day/night to be.
Hello,
I really like that you are being so open about your struggle. I can totally relate to your experience. I often have this with meditation that at first it is so great and the experience is pure peace and then it gets harder and harder to recreate this bliss and I am getting nastier and nastier to myself because I do it "wrong".
What I try for myself is to continue with the practice and accept whatever outcome there is, I do it right as long as I DO it and without expectations. Sometimes its bliss and peace and sometimes its irritation and restlessness. Both will come and go and with forcing a certain outcome it just seems to slip away farther and farther. But if I do it as an experiment and see how it goes and to say: "how interesting that I am irritated today...", I can let go of negative results easier and find peace more often.
Please keep us updated. This is really interesting.
Michaela
Hello Karl,
As you said, "Just because I hit a little wall it doesn’t mean it’s over." From from it! "Hitting any type of wall" is an experience and a learning for us all. In fact, learning is all about "hitting" anything to make us wake up from our slumber. My experience with the prisoners at the Burgos Penitentiary Centre (Spain) is a sort of "hitting a wall" to me. I have never been in a prison before either as a visitor or as delinquent, but the seminar said to me "Ross, go and give this seminar to them" as I was hesitant at first in doing it and the experience was superb beyond my wildest dream and expectations. I refused to let my fear of the prisoners overcome me. I went through and pass through it and I became a victor of myself. Right there and there I remembered what Sussan Jeffers said, "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" in her book of the same title. I 'did it anyway' in spite of my initial fear as fear mind- created. RESULT? Victory!I feel far stronger and victorious now than ever before having beaten and overcome
my fear.
I encourage you and every reader reading this to face whatever fear you have and look at it direct to the eye and say "Here I am; what do you want from me?" and the fear literally runs away. Scaring fear works! Be a bully to your fear.
Wonderful idea for a challenge I only came across this recently but really resonate and something I can certainly apply more in my life. Letting go and resting at night and conscious joy in my interactions in the day.
I find this work is a constant work in progress with natural dips along the way (in hindsight that's often when I am growing the most though).
Also what helps me when I am feeling low is to practice surrender, allowing the feeling to be without judgement.
Thank you for the challenge and post! x
Hi Elaine! Thank you for the support. I don't give up very easily, so I'm sticking with it. It's just hard when progress comes to a halt. I took your advice to read them more often and now I'm reading them before and after lunch. 🙂
Hi Michaela! Thank you! Meditation is very much the same for me. We are programmed to be achievers and not learn to enjoy the moment just for what it is without wanting it to be different.
I really like your statement, "How interesting that I am irritated today." It's a good way to change my perspective. I think a good question would also help me. Something like..."How irritated do I need to feel before I shift my perspective or make a change?" I'm not sure about my question, but you get my point. I'll have to think a little more about it.
I'm glad you like this challenge. I'm hoping to do more of these over the next few months.
Hi Ross! Lol. I like your last line "Be a bully to your fear." I think you make a good point. Don't let your fear bully you.
I like to think of my fear as my friend. Someone with good intentions, trying to protect me, but doesn't quite know what is really best for me.
Hi Louise! Letting myself surrender to the moment is another great way to deal with my struggle. I'm not a big fan of the word "surrender" but I completely understand what you are saying. Stop fighting the struggle and be more open to how it is making me feel. I do need to do more of this. I think dealing with my definition of surrender is a great place for me to start. 🙂