I seriously thought this would be a lot easier than it really has become. I seem to have hit a wall.
You may be following this 30 Day Challenge because of this post – Realigning My Joy through My Subconscious.
I had two messages to myself that I had to repeat every morning when I woke up and when I went to bed.
They were: (excerpt from original post)
The bed-time message to my subconscious is:
“I will let go of any worries and relax every muscle before and during my sleep.”
The reason I picked this is because I’ve been holding on to my stress as I’m settling down for bed. It causes me to have trouble falling asleep and waking up with a stiff neck, jaw, and/or back.
My morning message to my subconscious which I will tape to my mirror is:
“Every interaction has some joy in it. It’s up to me to find the joy and possibly expand on these feelings.”
I picked this message because I catch myself, very often, wanting the experience I am presently in to be different instead of accepting it for everything it is.
I’m doing this because I felt like I wasn’t in control while I slept. Now I feel like the more control I try to grasp the farther this exercise gets away from me.
At first I felt like I was floating on big fluffy clouds after Day 7 from just a simple mantra each morning and afternoon. It seemed too good to be true.
I guess it was.
Reality has crashed on top of me.
I seem to have lost with how to proceed.
I feel like I’ve gone backwards. I’m trying too hard instead of just watching and learning as I do this exercise.
I woke up this morning with a stiff neck. This 30 day challenge was supposed to improve how I dealt with my stress not make it worse.
Do I recite these above phrases more?
Do I give up?
I felt so wonderfully alive for the first 7 days.
Just because I hit a little wall it doesn’t mean it’s over.
Maybe this is just a new way for me to become stronger.
I see old patterns bubbling back up. I make a little progress, I set the bar higher, can’t reach the new level and I get frustrated. Do you do this as well?
Sorry I don’t have more answers and aha moments for you. Hopefully next time. I’m trying to be as forthcoming with this challenge as I can be, while also finding teachables.
Have you been playing along? Are you doing your own 30 day challenge? Let us know in the comment section.