Day 21 of Realigning My Joy with My Subconscious Challenge – Turning a Corner

30-day-challenge-image-250In the previous update I talked about my struggles with my subconscious joy realignment challenge. How I’m trying to figure out how to find easier ways to enjoy my daily struggles.

At first I felt like I was floating on big fluffy clouds after Day 7 from just a simple mantra each morning and afternoon. It seemed too good to be true.

I guess it was.

Reality has crashed on top of me.

I seem to have lost with how to proceed.

I feel like I’ve gone backwards. I’m trying too hard instead of just watching and learning as I do this exercise.

I woke up this morning with a stiff neck. This 30 day challenge was supposed to improve how I dealt with my stress not make it worse.

The comments on the Day 13 post were so very encouraging. Thank you. One of my favorites was from Michaela.

“I really like that you are being so open about your struggle. I can totally relate to your experience. I often have this with meditation that at first it is so great and the experience is pure peace and then it gets harder and harder to recreate this bliss and I am getting nastier and nastier to myself because I do it “wrong”.”

I also posted on the Work Happy Now Facebook page about my struggles and a couple people said happiness shouldn’t be so hard.

This made my smile and think.

I thought, for a second, they were right.

Then I realized that they didn’t fully understand my goals.

I didn’t just want to have an easier time appreciating nice things. I wanted to create a stronger connection with my subconscious so I could enjoy the present struggles that I would go through every day.

For example I went out with a friend to go see a band on a Friday night. Now usually I don’t go out very late, but my friend was moving to a new country and we wanted to have one last hurrah. I got home at 1:30am, took awhile to fall asleep from all the stimulation (probably 2:30am) then my son woke up at 7:10am. Came running into our room.

“It’s time to play dinosaurs!”

My wife and I have an agreement. She sleeps in on Saturdays and I sleep in on Sundays. She has been kind and gotten up when it’s been a rough night sleeping for me, but I decided to abide by our pact and get up.

At first all I could think about was wanting to go back to sleep. Then before I realized what happened I stopped wanting what I couldn’t have and began playing “dinosaur castle” with my son. I got lost in the game. My dinosaur (little toy figurine) was lost out in the woods and just wanted a nice bed to sleep in. My son was the dinosaur prince who let me stay in his castle.

After some dinosaur playtime I made toast and fresh fruit for breakfast.

It turned into a delightful morning.

I don’t think 3 weeks ago this same perspective would have happened as quickly. I probably would have moaned and groaned to myself for an hour before I let myself forget that I only got a little over 5 hours of sleep.

Today the joy came so much easier.

I know I’ll have my stumbles before this challenge is over, but I feel like I’m much better prepared to handle them.

Have you been working on your own 30 day challenge? It’s not too late to start your own. What have you been struggling with and how could you improve this struggle?