We are all messed up. When we realize that we are all imperfect then we can let go of our expectations of each other. We can stop fooling each other with our lovely shit pies that we try to convince each other to eat. We start with forgiving ourselves because this allows us to create deeper and more honest relationships. (This is a practice and it isn’t easy.)
This is a lesson I'm still learning to master. When you forgive yourself and others, you will find the mental switch to be more grateful and loving. This practice helps us regulate our expectations and stop allowing them to drive our thoughts and emotions down a negative path. I know I need more love in my life, but sometimes I notice that I’m afraid to give that love because I’m attached to my expectations of a situation instead of finding a way to accept the situation for what it is.
We are all afraid. We avoid digging deep because of the difficult thoughts and emotions that we’ll uncover. We avoid these thoughts and emotions by doing things that distract us from uncovering our internal diamonds that can help us grow.
We can’t let every little mistake hurt our confidence. We will make mistakes. We need to own them, but then let them go and move on.
You can forgive others through prayer, journaling, therapy, coaching, meditation, etc. to help you improve your capacity to forgive. It took me a long time to forgive my father for his bullying, but it has freed me to be more open with myself and other people. You must refuse to take any more bites out of that shit pie they are shoving at you. Promise me you won’t take another bite. You don’t need to be a jerk about it (see lesson one). People often don’t realize they are doling out shit pies. They are caught up in their own beliefs and think this is the way the world should work. We need to forgive them for they don’t understand how we see the world.
Once we forgive them it makes it easier to forgive ourselves and a whole new way of looking at the world opens up to us. When we forgive ourselves we expand our ability to love. It's this love that spiritual teachers rave about, but don't do a good job of teaching. If you can practice forgiving someone every single day, it will do wonders for your energy and your confidence. Start with small things and build your forgiveness muscle. As it gets stronger you can move onto the bigger issues that you are holding on to and taking up mental bandwidth.
Read the next lesson: Stop Giving a Shit What Other People Think.