The winter is a time for reflection.
I used to be a very bi-polar and unhappy person. It’s why I started writing. I needed to release the crappy thoughts sitting on me like a big stinky turd, so I could move on to projects I enjoyed.
There was nothing medically wrong with me. I was just me.
It’s actually been a beautiful ride so far. I realize this after many hours of yoga, meditation and journaling. My ability to reframe a difficult situation has helped me improve my happiness by leaps and bounds.
I remember the time my first boss called me a monkey. It was a slap in the face. I literally felt the sting of pain when I heard those words.
Opinions
Just the other day that sting came back when someone commented on my YouTube video on the effects of fast food. They called me sickly and pale, but what really hurt was their opinion of me being a mentally slow narrator. There was this brief moment of “was he right?” My arch nemesis began to rip back into my thoughts.
I’m not here to let other people opinions affect how I do my work. I’m tired of trying to align myself with the masses. I tried to do it for over 20 years. Each time I tried, I missed the mark.
I’m here to help people who want my help. That’s it. I can’t waste my time on worrying about what other people think of my work. I can only be as awesome as I can be.
Vulnerability
You can’t do great work until you allow yourself to be vulnerable. That means taking a stand and not worrying about what other people think. If you are too afraid of the jerks out there, you won’t be creating conversations with people that want to hear about what you really have to say.
You have to release your attachment to what other people are saying. Other people’s opinions aren’t you.
You need to practice letting go of people who like to drop turds on your work, so you can move on to better and bigger projects.
Today I want to start the Chest Clearing Club (CCC) so we can move on to projects that make us happy. I want people to leave comments on things that are bothering them so they can move on to the enjoyable stuff. We can’t let our pasts get in the way.
Your Turn
So what kind of work are you doing that sucks your energy?
What can you do to stop letting other people’s opinions dictate your choices?
It’s not so much creating a solution right now. Let’s identify what sucks about our careers and then figure out how to create a plan and move on to something better.
Side Note: I contributed to a really cool project called “The Great Life Philosophies.” Joe Wilner put the project together and I’m very impressed by the contributions. It’s a collection of 12 well-known bloggers who give their best advice. You can download the ebook for free here.
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Image courtesy of Salim Virji
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I have a silly health problem – I’m highly allergic to mold, dander, pollen. I take weekly shots for this and sometimes, they make me extremely ill the next day. (Today is one of those days) My family and coworkers are less than understanding – they feel I’m making everything up. So, I try my hardest to do everything despite being very ill. Because of that, I’m ill longer and when I really do come down with something it holds on for dear life. I would suppose the way to fix this is to just ignore them and take care of myself.
Hi Jennifer, It can be tough dealing with co-workers. They really don’t know what each other are going through. I would suggest having a chat with a few of them. This all depends on their attitude of course. Pick a few of them that are empathetic and see what they say. They might have a few suggestions for what you can do.
It’s good to see that you are a fan of vulnerability as well. A pet peeve that’s been bothering me of late is the slow or no response time people many have seemed to fall into the habit of. Directed to no one in particular. > Just because you get hundreds of emails and haven’t yet mastered discernment – it doesn’t mean that you get to ignore messages from folks you care about.
I’ve been in my current position for about a year and a half, and it’s draining my energy, enthusiasm, creativity, and drive. I’m not sure if I have an entirely different (wrong) opinion of what my job (engineering – network engineering) should be from what the typical position actually is. My new job is in a group that is “highly matrixed”. It is very loosely organized (if at all) and loosely supervised. I find myself doing more project management work (herding cats, schedules, procurement) and machinist work that the type of activities that I would actually enjoy doing. I need structure. At the end of the day, I feel I’ve been here for 1.5 years with nothing to show for it on my resume. Although I’m not old at 34, I feel like the opportunity to move towards my career goals is rapidly eroding as young new prospects get the work that I would enjoy, while the superiors wrongly assume I should start moving into management.
Of course this has caused a high level of stress along with all of the associated mental and physical ailments. I’ve decided that I need to find a new job to at least get out of this funk, but feel at a severe disadvantage in looking for a new position as I do not feel I have progressed towards my goals in 1.5 years. How do I offset that with a potential interviewer? How do I get back on track. Trying to make the best of it I can, but it never seems that time is your friend.
Enjoy the blog, Karl. I read it quite often and like the variety of post subjects.