There are people who create their work atmosphere and then there are people who let their work atmosphere create them.
“Recreate yourself in and through your environment and shape the resulting atmosphere until it is yours.”
– Alexander Becker
A good friend of mine has a father who makes friends instantly by getting people involved. When John speaks with you, he looks you in the eye. He laughs easily and doesn’t mind letting you dominate the conversation. He’ll talk about sports, politics, religion, barbeque, video games, and relationships because he knows that you want to talk about what interests you. He doesn’t force the conversation around what he knows, but allows it to move where it naturally wants to go.
All of his wonderful social attributes help him create his environment, but this isn’t the reason for his success. What makes John special is his ability to allow his natural personality to engage others. He’s not afraid of you; he wants to get to know you better. He wants to love you.
He figures out a way to love you by giving his attention to you. Everyone responds to someone that shows interest in who they are. The first time I ever met him, I knocked on his front door, he opened it then smiled and said, “Welcome!” With such enthusiasm that you couldn’t help but feel loved. “I’ve heard so much about you. Please come in.”
He didn’t have any fear. He welcomed me into his home like I was an old friend. I instantly liked him.
I thought about why he didn’t have any fear. How was he able to generate such a loving feeling from me? The answer was in him. He didn’t have any fear because he knew that I would like him. And I did. He didn’t have any fear because it didn’t matter whether I liked him or not, all that mattered to him was that he extended his friendship to me. It was up to me to accept.
As I’ve watched him operate over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that he’s never afraid to give his opinion because he believes in it. He has reasons to back up his choices, but doesn’t fight for them. If someone doesn’t agree with him, he doesn’t care if you are on his side because he accepts your feelings and enjoys the discussion.
John is able to create his environment because he takes pleasure in the people he’s with. He never worries about what you are thinking because he can’t change that. He is who he is because he accepts himself and you accept him because it feels right.
You can create your own environment wherever you go if you use John’s techniques:
- Give yourself to others.
(When you give your love and attention to other people they will reflect it back to you. Most people are like mirrors waiting to see how you treat them before they decide how they will treat you.)
- Stop worrying about what other people think of you.
(When you trust yourself you’ll stop worrying about other people’s judgments.)
- Let your personality shine out.
(If people aren’t enjoying the real you then you aren’t giving them a chance to love you.)
By applying these techniques, you can create the work atmosphere that makes you the happiest. When you are happy the people around you will feed off of your positive actions, helping to make work fun.